Sunday, February 25, 2007;
♥ 11:06 am
i hate bio!!!

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Saturday, February 24, 2007;
♥ 4:25 pm
time to post some cny pics!! haha.. ok.. i know i look fat in them.. juz dun remind me of that fact that i need to go on diet... :(

my new year shoe!! nice??

me and my cousin joshua

my family at dinner

my hair in the day..

my hair at nite..

vc and the volunteers at holiday inn parkview

my dearest vcians...

deeblockers at the cny event

yummy!!!

blk d shammers!!

my annoying but cute neighbour pig..

jeannie and me!!

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007;
♥ 2:00 pm
moving back home le... though i seriously will miss hall.. haha.. not the activities, but the freedom, the ppl there.. haha... but seriously dun see a point in staying on... sharon moved out, ying moved out, and now jeannie is moving back... haiz.. i dun want to be left alone there.. which is why i chose to move... haha...
i guess after some time, home still feels the best, though i can seriously sense some big problem when i move back.. like my mum and my dad will constantly be pissed with me coming home soo late most of the time.. but i juz hate to be alone.. haha... i always hate to be alone... and if i continue staying in hall, i might become someone i hate to be... so i decided i shud juz move home and that way i wun be alone.. plus i'll get to eat home cooked food everyday!! :)
suddenly dunno wad to blog about.. haha... maybe im too tense up le... going to deliver a speech in front of 80 plus ppl later... im scared... i always have stage fright.. which is why i always envy ppl who could speak so well in front of others... i guess this have to do wif confidence ba... i noe im not confident... but ill have to learn to overcome my fear like now!! haha... special thanx to some ppl for making me do this la!! haha...
haha.. time to go down to the hotel le!! :) seriously... im still scared.. coz ill have to call the hotel personnel oso!! calling leh!! im scared oso la... haiz... shall blog more about this later...

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007;
♥ 11:55 am
在我们的故事
写下结局前
请你
聆听最后尾奏的音乐
幸福渐远
心跳渐弱
回音在休止符后停留了好久
当每一个当下变成过去后
自由
也许是离人们的折磨
在狂欢时寂寞
从绝望里复活
才明白爱会随时间
逐渐成熟
从那一天
原谅你的瞬间
我不过情人节
我和未来不再相恋
爱断了线
于是我每天都
过想你的离人节
不再见面
不代表我
不再对你想念
你是曾经的永远
会永远在我身边
当每一个当下变成过去后
自由
也许是离人们的折磨
在狂欢时寂寞
从绝望里复活
才明白爱会随时间
逐渐成熟
从那一天
放开你的瞬间
我不过情人节
除非未来还会出现
爱断了线
我如何能不再
过想你的离人节
希望这是
最后一次
向最爱说再见
也希望下个永远
会永远在我身边

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Monday, February 19, 2007;
♥ 11:02 pm
chinese new year!!! haha.. ok.. i admit i am fat!! and its time to jian fei... but den.. i juz hate to hear ppl say it.. sigh... time i turn anorexic to stop those skinny ppl or ppl who think they are skinny to say me le... argh!! the most irritating thing u can hear coming out from ur cousins mouth (males to begin with) is that "u need at least a c cup and no tummy to wear this kind of dress!!" argh!! i noe i am fat and small there but u dun need to say out rite?? argh!!! new year...
haha.. and the worse is.. i dun get the same msg!!! my paternal side aunt insist i lost weight and make me eat more.. and my maternal side cousins are like... haiz... conflicting msgs.. and i choose to believe the negative one.. haha... i noe i am fat la...
making yam paste again!! coz my grandma is coming tmr... haha.. so must let her try my yam paste!!! did i mention how cute my baby cousin is??? he remembers my name!! omg!! and he lets me carry him around.. though for other ppl he will look at him/her for a while before letting them carry him!! sooo cute!! haha...
yeah!!! my sup card is here!! and the credit limit is 20000!! haha.. ok.. if i ever spend that much, my dad will declare bankrupt!! haha.. im happy!!! really really happy now!! :) time to go shopping again!!!

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Saturday, February 17, 2007;
♥ 3:57 pm
im sorry if i caused any disturbance to u guys... its juz a thought.. though i was very sure i shud leave... but the other part of me still feel the guilt... the guilt of giving u guys false hope... the guilt of joining in and leaving u guys in the midst where everything is happening.. the guilt of becoming someone i aspire not to be... so i am still deciding... though if anyone does anything that irritated the devil out of me again, i might juz leave without thinking... even if that would cause ppl to hate me... i wun bother... yupz... im glad ive ppl in the com supporting me... coz of u guys.. i will try harder!!! :)

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007;
♥ 11:44 pm
spend my vday with woofie the whole day la... cant believe it man... we studied together, go for test together, den go shopping for vday gifts for each other together (pretending we dunno wad we are going to get from each other), and not forgetting our in depth analysis and discussion of ppl!!! haha... thanx girl for spending ur vday with me though u wanted to go sleep!! haha... and i brought a dog to shopping!!! hope u like the pressie yar?
and yes.. that is how interesting my vday was... haha... oh.. and not forgetting my date for today morning till noon... my io psych books and dr singh's notes!! haha.. but den hor.. ive decided to ditch them for the greater good la.. at least for now!! haha... 3 roses recieved today!! 1from darling, 1 from blk d guys and 1 from chee keong.. haha... happy!!! though.. still no blue rose... sigh...
im quitting!! ive decided already... juz need to tell them when i see them.. dun think i can take it anymore... im sorry to join and leave.. but den i really cant afford to give up on my studies for society.. and i cant bear to let my subcommers suffer anymore... as in.. i cant bear to see them suffer with the amount of work thrown to us and the few ppl working... and this is only after 2 events... i cant imagine wad chaos is going to happen for bazaar!! i really really cannot take it anymore... time i return as a full time chair for vc, a full time student from nus, and a full time daughter to my parents and full time zookeeper to the 2 monkeys!!
tired... got to do my tutorials now and go sleep.. if not sure cannot wake up tmr!! haha... HAPPY VDAY!!!

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007;
♥ 4:20 pm
car wash!! sigh.. i hate doing it.. coz it always reminds me of the fact that i am taking super duper long to get my license.. haha... and i want a car when i get my license... though i noe i wun get it.. haha.. we r not rich.. must keep reminding myself.. :)
realised im easily pissed these few days.. not good!! i miss the old me.. haha.. must remember that there are ppl out there tt purposely pissed u off one.. so must learn to tolerate!! :) den i will be a happier person!!
jeannie went for job interview and got her job!! congrats darling.. i miss working.. though i seriously dun think i have anytime for working now.. especially not in the sem... it's the time of the year again that i am lamenting on y am i not studying?
i am a full time student... my dad dun let me work part time for a reason... to make sure i am a full time student.. but den... by doing all these work, am i really a full time student? i hate it when i have to skip lectures juz to do other work.. juz like today.. i wanted to skip my bio lecture coz im falling sick, and i desperately need to rest so i can study for my test tonite... but den.. i have to do car wash..
seriously... i wish i can resign now... i dun mind vc.. it's my passion.. juz that psych soc is taking too much of my time... more den vc which is my most impt com now.. i dun mean that psych soc is not impt.. but den.. weighing the position... which one is more impt? biz director or chairperson? especially when ur com is make up of all year 1s? not that year 1s are not good.. juz that they will have an ultra bad impression if their boss is not doing anything or at least appearing not to do anything.. which is wad i am desperately trying not to do..
time i learn to understand that I AM A FULL TIME STUDENT!!! i will learn to let go of other commitments and focus on studies.. studies more impt!!!
sorry sharon.. have to let u do the whole js draft urself!! im so so sorry... but i seriously think i m dying soon.. with the lack of rest.. i might really juz die before this sem ends!! haiz... how selfish can ppl be??
u want ppl to do everything for u but u dun even bother to put in more effort for us? juz coz u have tests doesnt mean we dun have.. and i seriously believe that a com shud work as a com and not individual cells... *pissed* seriously... stop being selfish!!

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Saturday, February 10, 2007;
♥ 2:40 am
piece of shit! im damn pissed now.. u really got the bitch hidden deep inside me out here lying la.. wad the hell.. i m not going to bitch about u here.. but den.. i juz need a place to rant.. i seriously think i am really an eediot to give u credit for every small lil thing u did.. coz at the end of it.. i got one whole lump of shitwork to clear for u.. while u happily complain to the rest of the heads of things which never even happen in the first place.. act innocent.. continue acting.. i want to see how long more u can act!! freak.. seriously.. i think even the word alienhead is too much of a credit to u.. i tried to be nice.. but den.. u juz have to make me think i am an eediot to try to protect u all these while yar?
i hate politics.. seriously.. but den.. y must u go all the way there? fine.. i promised not to bitch abt this whole issue on my blog.. so i will NOT!!
juz pls stop pissing me off...

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Thursday, February 08, 2007;
♥ 7:49 pm
yeah!! finally things are getting better!! haha... first thing is darling forgiven me!! haha.. okie.. and den though there are like a million things waiting for me to do now for nuspsyche, im glad i have ppl like shijia, guan heng and not forgetting carol!!
haha... have been in an ultra bad mood to blog abt 2nd hand sales the whole of last week, coz everything ive blogged have been directed at my own emotions of ppl and of coz the super bad fight that ive went thru... so sorry if ive offended anyone in the process...
so yar.. of coz i need to thank my 3 darling subcommers.. and oso jennifer and chee teck!! oops.. almost forgot... so equals to 5!! haha... thanx for coming down to set up the stall and staying thru the whole event!! and i nv even say a word of thanx to u guys!! though i dun think any of u will read my blog, but yar.. thanx anyway!!
to carol: it's been nice knowing you!! and sorry for not being nice enough to you on the last 2 days of the sale coz i was in a super foul mood... (not an excuse) haha... think you oso got a shock seeing me eat $8 worth of food! but yar.. im really grateful to your contribution to our first business project... well.. though we didnt reach our target sales, but im quite sure that we did our best (though im still very very sure that certain ppl not from our subcom did not do their duty)!! well.. i hope you will continue staying with bizsubcom!! haha.. we really need you!!
to my p-cell: thanx for helping out whenever you al can!! and helping me fight for my sub com ppl... haha... especially yy and his crazy way of putting things! haha.. thanx a lot.. think i might juz die alone if i didnt have you ppl to help me!!
to cheryl nott: thanx for spending a lot.. though i would appreciate if you spend more!! haha.. but ting will be sad la.. coz ur money= her money rite?? haha.. y not juz make your money=society's money?? den business subcom will love you a lot lot lor!!
to ting: thanx girl for rushing out the posters!! i noe u very stress la... and somemore it was on APA writing day!! thanx a lot lot...
to sharon: thanx woofie for listening to me going on and on about all my rubbish, troubles i face in school, home, hall.. and oso thanx for coming down on sat to help us sort items.. and rushing to school on monday so i can charge my phone!!!
to the rest of the com: thanx for helping me put up the posters even though we were all so tired after APA!!
ooo... and must oso thank jeannie for letting me sell a lot of her things!! haha.. and pulling jason to go back to arts with us at 3am in the morning to put the printer in store!! thanx a lot...
today is my lucky day!! vc have sponsors for hong baos la!! as in the money inside!! so happy!!! haha.. im feeling ultra happy and lucky!! no more feeling upset and guilty... :) shopping tomorrow...

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007;
♥ 9:42 pm
it still hurts.. i dunno how to explain that feeling... juz heartache... bet it means nothing to u at all... haiz... im juz happy and grateful that i have sharon with me now.. haha.. joking and laughing over the silliest thing.. going home after school.. and thinking of going shopping together!! haha.. though all these are small little things, but it really means a lot to me.. at least for now! haha.. *muacks* love u girl.. haha.. dun worry la.. im still straight!! :P
and oso.. im very very glad that i still have yun.. haha.. really.. i realised that not a lot of frenship can be like ours.. haha.. still remember the time in sec3 we didnt tok to each other for like nearly half a year? im glad we are fine now.. really think its very difficult to find true frens... so im quite glad i found u...
somethings i feel like saying but i juz dun dare to say.. coz i dun want to offend ppl again.. but den i guess its always how ppl phrase things to make them sound rite.. haha.. damn pissed with soc stuff coz of that.. but den i shall endure.. i guess no matter how difficult this is, i will get past it..
if u r still angry with me, there's nothing much i can do.. ive apologised and if u still dun accept, den i can only hope tt one day u will find this whole issue really silly.. but in the event u do not, i juz want u to noe till this day, ive nv blame u, complain to others abt u, juz pure upset tt u dun even try to cool down and think thru properly.. even when u said all the bad things abt me which i dun want to read, coz i dun want to make things worse.. everyone have their flaws, as much as u were tolerating me, pls bear in mind tt i was oso tolerating u.. i guess u giving up on this frenship juz purely means tt it means so little to u, tt u dun even feel anything.. no matter wad others say abt u, i tell them its not true.. i told others that they shud noe u in person, but not judge u thru others words.. there are some things tt i still wish i can tell u, but i didnt, i kept it to myself coz i juz want u to be happy.. but den.. if this is wad u want, den all the best to u..

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Monday, February 05, 2007;
♥ 11:32 pm
haha.. read sharon's blog and realised that last week really flew past!! haha.. wif all the things i had to do wif 2nd hand sales, and some other things that happened last week... no wonder the week juz rocketed past... haha...
bad week last week.. and i can predict a worse week this week... well.. beginning of the week and u came back into my life... ok.. i admit i was trying avoid u after i learn abt somethings.. but den.. i dunno.. things juz seems different talking to u again.. maybe is juz me.. maybe i juz cant face u the same way again.. but den.. i really hope i can tok to u again normally.. it juz seems impossible.. but at least we tried rite??
tired... still talking to sharon abt jap studies project!! haha.. im determined not to prove dr hislop rite again after wad happen... haha... sharon u cannot hate me hor!! im the one who suggest u bite bones since ur gums itchy leh!! haha.. :p

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Sunday, February 04, 2007;
♥ 11:26 pm
retail therapy works great!!! haha.. though my legs are aching like hell now.. poor feet.. shudnt have wear heels la... :( haha.. but den still happy coz i bought 3 dresses and one blouse!! :)
haha.. lili... i didnt buy the kawaii dress and the purple dress leh.. though i did buy the pink ebase one!! haha.. and 2 other tube dresses... next time show u when u al coming to my house to play mahjong and eat steamboat... :)
i guess somethings are better left unknown, unheard of and everything.. i feel soo much at peace at home.. haha... lili!!! we shall postpone our sushi buffet idea till after chinese new year hor... coz i must go on a 2 weeks crash diet la... if not chinese new year will be like duan wu jie... :(
frens tolerate each other i guess... if not they wun be frens le.. rite? im sure yun, bossie and my other frens will have a lot to say abt my bad points esp bossie!! so sorry girl... everytime we agree to meet up i have to cancel coz of sth else... im quite sure u are tired of trying to get me out so u can meet me... but im oso very very glad tt u nv ever give up trying... tts wad i love abt u!! and da shu ji tuan will oso have a lot to say abt me... but den... i guess we try to forget abt the bad things and focus on wad we like abt each other's company rite??
time to learn to appreciate my frens more... at the end of the day, im glad i still have u guys!! :)

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Saturday, February 03, 2007;
♥ 9:41 pm
sick... my nose is killing me.. it juz keep running for no reason... sigh... i wonder y do i always spend my whole weekend sneezing... haha...
anyway, i am a potential road hazard... i nearly knock down 4 ppl today... and bang into 10 cars... and knock down 3 motorcycles... haiz... dunno y i juz cant concentrate today... my eyes were super swollen this morning, and i was super sleepy... but i have to go for lessons... cant cancel it le...
in my dreamy and traumatised state after driving, i went to book a monday lesson which is from 235 to 415... and totally forgot that i have a tutorial at 4!!! haiz.. and since is a last min booking, i cant cancel it, so i will have to skip tutorial... which is lucky coz there is no tutorial participation marks allocated to it!! haha...
im dying soon... haha.. k la.. go rest le!!!

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Friday, February 02, 2007;
♥ 11:27 pm
i m not going to post anymore things abt it... im seriously very tired... for ur info.. i m not going to read ur blog.. not bcoz i dun want to... juz coz i dun feel a point in reading wadeva u want to say and continue to get angry over things... its really tiring.. im not angry with u... im juz very tired of trying to tok to u wif tt tone u keep giving me... seriously... i m not going to tok to u till u can converse in a calm tone and not the argumentative tone.. if u still think this is all a personal attack.. den there is really nothing more i can do... period..

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;
♥ 11:54 am
finally got my desired amount of sleep!! haha... though we didnt manage to reach our target for 2nd hand sales, but im glad its finally over... its really damn tiring to sleep at 2 plus and wake up at 7 plus the next day and set up stall and stay there till 7 plus and the same routine happens again and again for the 4 days.. at the end of the 4 days wad did i learn/get?
1. i shud finally learn to let go of things and not stay there the whole freaking time and worry when im not there tt sales will not be good and money will get lost...
2. some ppl will nv understand the pain u are going thru... so dun bother making them understand..
3. some ppl needs to be told wad to do before they will do things if not they juz stay there and happily assume that by sitting there, they are doing their duty...
actually there's a lot more to this.. but i shall do it in my debrief la..
seriously... im tired... tired of coming to school everyday only to have more non-academic stuff to deal with... i really hope i can be a normal student.. do work, study and have more time with my family and frens... when was the last time i really really went out with frens? i cant even remember... everytime i go out with sharon will be coz after psych soc stuff den we juz go eat.. tts all... i cant even remember when was the last time i went out wif bossie, jillyn, yun etc...
and im tired of ur rubbish... u always think u r rite... fine.. im not rebutting not coz i admit i am entirely in the fault.. coz somehow.. i noe wadeva i say now will be turn into deaf ears... okie.. i admit i m in the fault for not doing the project/presentation.. but den again.. i did call u and ask u wad time do u need me to be back to do the thing.. and u clearly said tt u finished it.. so wads the point of me going back?
i went shopping?? hello.. it was for my dad's present... and u noe very well that if i dun go meet my bro to get the present, i will still be at the stall.. ok fine.. maybe u dunno.. but let me tell u how hard it is for me to leave tt stall... i was there dragging myself to leave for 2 hours before i finally got myself to let go and leave them to run it on their own for one day... and u noe tt i was damn drain everyday coz of this event... at least i noe i did tell u tt... or maybe u juz dun listen... u nv did... and maybe u dunno me well enuff tt when i m doing all this i will tend to forget things like wad work needs to be done... and ppl have to remind me..
fine.. u reminded me.. juz when i was leaving hall.. and maybe i didnt tell u that i had dinner with my family tt nite.. and i cant tell them im not going.. i juz cant bring myself to do tt... maybe we are different.. u always treat other things in front of ur family.. but im not u.. i cant... and i did promise that i will come back and help u after dinner.. but i juz dun see the point of me coming back since u have already done it... u can always ask me to come back when i called u, to help u.. but u didnt...
warped logic?? hey.. let me tell u sth.. not all the ppl in sch are staying in hall... ppl that dun stay in hall get their work done... there are so many ways of communication in the world.. like handphone, email? if u want her to contribute, let her noe la... u dunno her email add? ask me la.. but did u? u didnt... dun assume that ppl will go look for u... u nv noe at the other end, the other person might juz be wondering the same thing...
sometimes i juz hope u can go back and reflect on urself... seriously.. i did ask u to send via email to us.. but did u? juz coz i talked to allan on msn doesnt mean that i will have it.. did u even bother to ask allan whether he sent it to me? no.. so wad am i supposed to do? stay on the msn and wait for u to reply me when at the other end, i am soo freaking tired after 3 days of sales and i have to wake up at 6 plus the next day to go back for the same whole routine again?
i wun say u r irresponsible... but den again.. think back on how many things u have procrastinated? dun talk abt this event... juz basic daily things... like how u r supposed to help me get back 30 bucks from blk com since last year? everytime i ask u to help buy shampoo or body foam but in the end it gets procrastinated till like 2 or 3 weeks later when i finally decided that i have to go get it or coz i was going out and u msg me to get them? how everytime when u owe me money and i ask u to transfer them to me and it will never get done somehow or rather? the same thing... how i ask u to email me and it never gets done again?
seriously.. if u still think that u r completely rite and i am completely wrong, den fine.. continue living on with it... u've changed too much... have u ever stop to realised that ur temper is really getting from bad to worse? ok.. maybe all along u are like tt... juz tt u nv flare up on ppl u juz noe.. coz u want to maintain the nice image.. go back and ask ur family and closer frens or even ur bf how they feel abt u? we nv did say anything coz we keep on giving in to u.. but den pls wake up the idea... u r not always rite!! ppl do not have the obligation to give in to u all the time!!
i really dunno wad else to say... like i say... i m not trying to prove that i am rite or wad.. i admit its my fault that i did not do any part for this presentation... and u r rite... its my own choice tt i chose to join nuspsyche and therefore bringing all this upon myself... but i juz hope u will take some time and reflect upon urself... stop thinking tt there is an absolute rite or wrong in this whole issue...

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