maybe someone is rite... forcing myself to be independent is not a way to prove that i am... isnt it weird when advices always sounds so logical when they come out frm others but its juz difficult to do wad they say?

3 more days...

i wish i can breathe normally again... =(

went back NUS yesterday and was really happy to be able to meet up with people that were part of my life in NUS.. it's juz like another day of sch for me (juz tt i din nid to attend any lectures/tutorials) =)

walking thru bazaar, bumping into frens, suaning each other (though i got suanned most of the times), seeing eye candies, being disturbed by ppl... all these wonderful memories will stay with me forever! not forgetting ppl threatening me wif cameras.. sigh... but i posed for it this time.. =P

and i love my camp grp!!! =) thanx lotus for the present!! its really sweet to see pink things (i dun like pink tt much la) with ur well wishes in the file! i'll bring it along wif me to perth! its nice to noe that the freshies dun forget u even though u dun see them in sch, and it feels comfortable talking to them and suanning them even after 6 months of not meeting up! =) i'll nv forget u guys... here's the pics of the pressie they gave me! =)


thanx jia for calling ppl down to say bye~ haha.. i think there's really only 2 eye candies! *muacks*

i'll miss u guys a lot! haha.. no more sharmanda power in sg le... we'll be separated in 2 different parts of australia! we shall see if sharmanda power will work across the country la! =P though im sure we wun arrive at the same place at the same time again... =) but im sure we'll get to explore the place before we return to sg!!!

4 more days... =(

sometimes i wonder y i even bother... one moment when i think the wound is slowly healing and the next moment i juz nid to go rub salt to it... =) extreme no mood to do anything now..

maybe im too naiive sometimes.. i always think that things will go according to plan... but den it doesnt... haha.. so now i got no place to stay in perth and i dunno wad im going to do when i reach there! time i learn to start thinking of alternatives for everything i do coz apparently im not that lucky to have everything run according to plan... and i knew that im never that lucky long time ago, i juz dun like to have alternate plans...

maybe coz im scared if plan a dun work, den plan b might not work too... so i must have a plan c which might not even work! =) see... thinking makes me have bad headaches! (which explain the recent onset of migraines) and a lot of white hair (i plucked out at least 20 strands today!) so yupz.. i rather be the naiive and lazy to plan me.. =)

i'll prove that i dun nid to plan to survive alone there! things will happen when they happen... and ya.. IM NOT GOING TO MARRY A FARMER THERE!!!!!!!! grrr.. one more time u say tt i swear im going to scream!!! =P

bad dream.. but i guess it sorts of concluded everything.. i guess that sinking feeling would be gone after some time juz a matter of how long it'll take this time round.. =P

thanx mama!! haha... i was so amused when i saw ur blog la! den i keep laughing on the car and my bros thought i was going crazy! =P but yar.. in one week's time i'll be in a different setting... far from everyone! sigh.. scary feeling but i guess i have to get out of my comfort zone.. maybe it'll make me less reliant, temperemental, spoilt, irritating and etc...

like i said.. it'll be a tough year ahead and i'll get thru it! =) isnt that always the case? no matter how tough things look at the moment, somehow u'll manage to get thru it... =) thats how amazing life is... haha...

time to start packing~

woke up wif my eyes looking like a line... haha.. hate that coz it take me super long to get prepared to go out of my house... have to make everything look normal before i could step out of my room.. =P

sigh... second day of new year and i already saw the effects of offending tai sui le... nearly knocked down someone coz i didnt realised it was red light and had to jam brake! luckily nth happened and im too traumatised to drive again... =(

and that wasnt the onli accident that i nearly got into juz driving to tampines la.. i guess when im too distracted i shud not drive... haha.. juz for the safety for everyone... but dun worry everyone.. im going to be away frm sg streets for quite some time! =)

3 ppl telling me i look pregnant today! sigh.. i noe i fat le but no nid like tt mah.. plus its not helping coz i feel like puking most of the time.. =P okok.. reach my aunt's house le~ blog later... =P

tiring day.. at some point of time i actually juz feel like sleeping but manage to entertain myself enough to not sleep coz i dun wan to suffer frm insomnia again.. =P

once again i had to endure one whole day of telling ppl "wo mei you ren yao!" and "i wun bring back an ang moh bf!" and "i will come back to sg!" and a lot more repetitive statements that i repeat year after year and houses after houses! sigh~~ sometimes i think new year is a dread... ppl juz have to remind u that u are 24 and u are not attached and they refuse to accept the answers/ reasons u give..

when u say "coz wo mei ren yao.." den they will say "bu ke neng la!!"

when u say "coz i too fat and ugly..." den they will say "na li hui.."

and a lot more other things... so i finally figured out a way to stop them frm rebutting.. that is to say...

"coz im still waiting for a rich and handsome guy!" and den... they will say... "aiyoh.. dun set ur standards too high!!!"

see!! the point is no matter wad i say... they have sth else to say... sobs... they juz cant accept the fact that i really mei ren yao leh... =P and i've figured out that the best answer that u can give is to keep quiet and agree with wadeva they say.. like when they say "later u bring an ang moh bf back..." den juz say "ya.. i'll try to find one.." and they'll be happy! =)

tough year ahead but i'll get thru it! =)

heartache...

*yawns* im really getting lesser hours of sleep everyday... reached home and 2plus last nite and was contemplating if i shud on my com (juz to check for emails) and ends up i on it and spent near 2 hours on it... finally slept at near 4am! was super super tired so i juz concussed on my bed... and now at 7.40am im up again! sigh...

went for the murdoch's predeparture talk last nite and it is really really a waste of my time! had a bad headache after that talk and i juz had to leave the moment the speakers stop speaking! =P and manda didnt join the singapore link (the singapore student society there) haha.. was super proud of it coz everyone was pretty sure i'll go there and join a lot a lot of activities again! so to prove that im not a society/club person, im not joining anything!!! =)

anyway, my potential supervisor replied!!!! =) but she's telling me she can take one more student (ME!) and that she's no longer doing research on my topic of interest =( and asked if im ok with her other research interests! so ya.. im up searching for the articles on sports and ado which i found the other time! (apparently i was too happy wif divorce that i deleted all the articles from my lappie!) sigh... and now she's telling me no more divorce =(

so now... manda is going to pull herself together and start reading on sports before some person decides to wake up and call me to meet for breakfast! =)

i feel like some foreign exchange investor now.. haha.. first thing in the morning is on the com and check if the aussie dollars drop or rise... =) and everyday im happyd to say its dropping!!! maybe i shud have listened to my mum's fren last time and do accountancy and let her teach me wif forex but i really not interested in working in finance sector mah! im happy wif wad im doing now! =)

finally sent out the email to one of the profs le! =) now everything is almost settled wif the exception of accomodation!! apparently they still dun wan to reply me on that! so i really might have to bring a tent over and sleep in the middle of the campus la... and thanx to someone who reminded me ytd i shud check how much a tent cost over there and decide if i shud buy here and bring over juz in case its too expensive over there! (really din think abt tt at all.. wasnt even intending to really build a tent there la..)

and finally.. ANU have sent me a rejection letter! sigh.. after sooooo long! luckily i didnt decide to wait for them la! waste my time onli... im happy wif murdoch now!! now planning wad to do wif my hols (if i even have hols)... and i think i might fly back to sg for a few weeks during winter! =) juz to come back and visit some ppl and ensure that my room is still MY room and not some extended storeroom which i think they are all intending to convert it to!!!

it's juz one year!! nono.. 10 months to be exact! =) i can survive that!

wad i've accomplished till now for today...

1. email murdoch and ask y i haven get my room yet!!!!
2. type out a 2nd draft of the email im going to send to my potential supervisor
3. reply on my attendance for some predeparture seminar
4. read thru some long long pdf on orientation and things to noe for international student
   
5. to be added on later..

anyway, i juz found out im rite!! dogs really do cry!! according to my cousin la.. =) but her description doesnt fit in anything that i've seen from benjy yet, so juz maybe benjy haven cried before... super bored now.. and my brain is refusing to work again! so im juz going to slack till im suppose to get out of my house... =)

feel like going shopping again coz juz realised i nid to get sth from suntec... but im juz too lazy to go there alone.. manda hates shopping alone! one reason y i think i'll save quite a bit on shopping over at perth! sigh... but with ppl planning to visit me like at different times of the year i think i might not get to save a lot oso.. =P

ok.. shall get back to work! (check out my facebook status to noe wad work im getting back to..) =P

Amanda,
You are at an emotional crossroads today. A pleasant connection exists with your partner but the depth of the chemistry and conversation in the relationship may be questioned. Someone may be pondering whether there might be something better out there.

another of my bizarre horoscope for ytd.. =P

14 more days...

juz went to look at the pre departure pack and went to note down my holidays over there... =) sad to say i think australia has much much less public hols than here.. so i have to make do with the little public hols i have over there! sigh...

im really very scared now... i dunno y but when i look at huge chunks of words staring at me now i actually get headaches! something that scares me a lot coz i noe i'll have huge chunks of words to read and stacks of readings to do for my thesis!! i knew there was a reason y i wanted to opt for postgrad dip instead of honours!!! but too bad they didnt offer me any place for postgrad dip at all! haiz...

i guess i really nid to relax and stop thinking of wad might possibly happen when im over there.. maybe i'll find it easier to sleep and breathe! but its quite hard especially when the ppl around u juz seem to expect u to noe wad to do, where to go, wad nids to be done and wad u nid them to do like every single moment of the day! and it really doesnt help that im really very blur recently! not juz abt going australia but abt everything!

i guess i probably mentioned a few times on this blog tt i hate uncertainties... but i guess if i manage to survive thru the millions of them tt appeared in my life, i can survive this one year (10 months to be exact) =) im juz waiting to see if the geomancer is rite abt wad will happen in may... maybe things will happen like wad ting said... but i guess rite now i can onli wait and see..

rite now.. i juz nid to start thinking of how to email the profs and start thinking of thesis!!!
*god help me pls!!* =x

that's it! i officially declare i'm not going to watch that korean drama again!! it's making me hate myself more every min! haha... not that im into watching dramas anyway... i juz dun understand why ch 55 love replaying the drama!

going for medical checkup soon! *still crossing fingers* dunno y but i've been feeling very very hungry recently and it doesnt help when ppl around u are like telling u "u sure u dun wan to eat? u cant find this in australia leh!!"

so therefore manda has been eating food frm thai express (2x), dian xiao er (they ordered like super a lot of food till at 10 plus i could still feel the food somewhere in my stomach), char kway teow, carrot cake, oyster egg, sushi (im not complaining), yum cha, tong shui cafe (3x) =), chicken rice (i'll miss that a lot a lot) basically i've been on an eating spree la! and there goes my plan for losing weight!! sigh...

and on the list there's still a lot of things not eaten yet la.. aloysius promised to treat me to canivore and someone promise to treat me to sashimi before i leave!! and i still wan to eat steamboat and some soup place which ting said but i cant rmb the name, and more jap food =P so ya.. im sooo going to get fat before i reach australia!!!

wanted to blog about my tennis game ytd but im running late for my medical checkup, so maybe i'll blog later! =P anyway my conclusion for ytd was...
i still love golf! at least the ball is stationary! =x

sigh~ another week has passed... and i'm officially left with 17 days in singapore... =( went around meeting ppl and i guess too much walking around finally made me fall sick ytd! dunno y but i felt a bit hot and i actually fell asleep msning.. =X even smses din wake me up la!! scary...

there's sooo much to do but so little time... and im super worried i cant clear the medical checkup on monday coz i have onli 2 weeks to get my visa! and i already book my air tix! so if i cant get my visa i really dunno wad to do!! *crossing fingers* not to forget i haven email the profs over there to ask if they can supervise me for my thesis.. but i dunno how to even start emailing them when i myself have no idea wad i really wan to do for thesis!!! =(

on top of all that i have to deal with a super irritating monkey that keeps walking in to my room every 5 mins to call me for fun! grrrr!! i'll bear with him for another 17 days and i'll be glad for the rest of the year! no more dealing with him!!! =) though i'll miss my bed, my benjy and my kitties!!! =(

and worse.. i dunno y i keep waking up with swollen eyes every morning!!! it's weird coz it really doesnt happen usually unless i cry, but im pretty sure i didnt! unless i have DID and my split personality cry every nite, but its quite impossible la.. =P

ok.. came up to blog sth coz im really really bored!!! i guess the excitement is running low in me again... haha.. its weird coz one moment i'll be excitedly talking abt wad im going to do there and the next moment i'll be sighing... sharon noes tt quite well coz she experienced it a few times... =) busy week coming up~~ =) hopefully it'll be a happy week too!

super tiring day!!! i fell asleep on the train till i almost went back to tampines! haha.. luckily i force my eyes to open, if not i think i'll end up at jurong la.. =)

finally went to accept my offer.. den i was super blur when the agent keep going on and on about wad i nid to do next especially the visa part!! i was glad when she said "if u nid help, u can come over and i can help u wif it!" =) so ya.. being the lazy to think me i juz told her i'll go ask her for help wif visa! =)

after that i went searching for an uob bank to close my account.. and i discovered sth today!!! my grandma is not my mum's mum!!! haha.. coz apparently the name printed on my mum's birth cert spelt my grandma's name wrongly... so when i went to the counter, the person told me "but ur grandmother's name is different from the name on the death cert.. i'll check for u to see if u can close tt account.." i swear if they gave me another stoopid reason not to let me close the account, i'm going to scream at them! after wad they made me go thru last year and this year to close this account! but luckily they did... and the person wad quite apologetic! =)

and ytd i was told i nid to bring my grandma's death cert, and a proof of our relationship.. (obviously my birth cert doesnt state my grandparents' name..) soo... i had to bring my birth cert to proof that my mum is my mum and my mum's birth cert to proof that my grandmother is my mum's mum... complicated??? and obviously bringing my mum's birth cert didnt work coz the name was different! haha...

i was seriously very amused when the person serving me said "ur grandmother's name is different.." so amused to the point i called my mum to tell her tt and called sharon to tell her tt and sms darling to tell her tt! till now im still very amuse by it..

okok.. enough of me going on and on about how amusing the day was... shall go catch up on my sleep now! =)

sigh... manda is suffering from insomnia again!!!!!

i tried to go sleep at 12 plus but after 1 whole hour of tossing and turning on my bed i realised i really really cant sleep!! went to drink baileys but it doesnt seem to help.. and im not intending to try vodka coz i really dun wan to kill my liver before i land in australia! =P

i guess i'll nid to add sleeping pills to my packing list... =(

bank draft done! =)

at least now one thing is settled... though im still irritated by wad i went thru to get it done! i'll prove it to u i dun nid u to get my things settled!

i noe u juz wan to feel important but sometimes that's really not the way... u'll nv think im independent coz u nv wan me to be independent in the first place... u juz keep wanting me to feel like i nid u to do everything but it's not helping me at all! sigh... sometimes i juz wish u can be a bit more supportive instead of making me more irritated before i leave...

feeling more excited now! haha... tmr i'll go accept my offer and start emailing potential supervisors regarding my thesis... finally i can start studying again! and this time i'll make sure i'll study hard! if not i'll hate myself for giving up soo much in sg and not working hard enough! =)

cher mama!! pls slap me if i dun study over there k?! haha... looking forward to feb!!

feeling super heartbroken now.. =(

i always thought you'll be understanding.. if you dun wan me to go, juz say out la! dun nid to find silly things to quarrel about with me... i noe you'll be busy that's y i din wan u to come wif me... and besides that i noe when it's time when you two have to come back, i'll feel super alone again... and u juz dun seem to understand how hard this decision to leave for australia is for me... i've been struggling for the past few weeks already and thanx to u and ur logic, u've juz pushed me far far away and made me realised that i din make the wrong decision! i nid to go prove to u tt i can be independent.. i juz really din nid to...

haiz... juz came back from anu's pre departure talk... and after tt.. i really really wan to go anu!!! sigh... but den i really have no more time to wait le... the day their orientation start will be the day my course starts! =(

im tired... y cant ppl juz say out wad are they really thinking? i hate guessing!!! grrr!! im ultra ultra irritated!!!! the next person that tries to make me guess wad he/she is thinking of, i'll ignore tt person forever!!!

manda has decided that she's no longer going to wait!! =) if it comes, it comes... if not, den i guess i'll juz have to accept it!! haha... i guess sometimes in life things wun go as smoothly as how you planned it or imagine it to be... but den there's always the choice to live on bravely as how it comes or wallow in self pity and grumble how come it din go as planned.. i've juz decided to take the first route!

so yupz.. sharmanda is going to australia! but shar will be in canberra while manda is going to be in perth!! =) thanx andrea mama for the tag.. i noe i wun be alone as long as you're there! and when u have to come back, i'll make sure i'll make a few frens there... *shall learn not to be antisocial*

to yun aka lili.. it'll be one year onli la.. u wun miss me that much de! haha.. we can continue emailing each other like wad we did before mah... and i'll try to come back when i have holidays.. so u wun miss me that much la.. juz that this year we wun be able to celebrate our bday tgt, but but.. we can always have an advance or belated celebration! =)

i have a lazy brother who apparently rather climb through the window to get into his room than to climb up to my room and get his room key!! sigh... how smart rite??

im back to blog again!!
haha.. was asking my darling (still as bimbo) if she really wans me to go australia juz now (i juz wan to hear how ppl really feel w/o telling me that its good for my future or wadsoever...) and this is wad she said... =P

~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
me ah
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
hmm lets see
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
as jeannie the bimbo: NO! u go le who pei me thru thick and thin and walking home from kallang =( and i will totally like miss u super alot and u'll be there for so long!
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
as jeannie the smart teacher: its a gd chance! plus staying in aussie is like once in a lifetime experience, and onloy 2 hour time difference, so its not hard to keep in contact.
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
unless u wanna go is cuz ure like some of my frens who are running away from the reality of working
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
or u just feel bored in sg/running away from issues
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
if u really wanna wanna study and get gd job and pay ur parents back the $$$ next time then ok ba
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
AND
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
i got no sms khaki alr
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
nor kbox khaki
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
i'll be so sad
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
tho i can go visit u
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
then benjyy howw!
~deeBlockers!! j e a n n i e says:
i wanna visit him too

=) see y i love her? haha.. she is sooo super bimbotic la!!! =)
darling.. i'll miss u too.. we shall skype everynight k??
if onli more ppl can be like u... sometimes i juz wan to hear 真心话 and not politically correct answer... =(

juz read my horoscope today..

Amanda,
Hunches play a strong role in choosing whether or not to travel. Deciphering the difference between worry and legitimate intuition is the key. A skeptical friend is of no assistance.

hmmm.. so... shud i or shudnt i??? =(

welcome to my blog
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name: moomoo
birthday :20 oct 1985
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